Good Morning?. . . What Morning?

I got home yesterday and Hubby and I went to get our little one's staples taken out. He was so brave and good. His dad knelt in front of him while they were being taken out and the tears just dripped. But he did it and got a reward. We were so proud of him and later told him that the "staple fairy" would come.

One the way there, Hubby told me that he had asked S to move out and was pretty quite about it. We picked up some beer and talked for a while at the house about what had happened. She is sad and cried all night the night before and all day yesterday and told him how much she loved and missed him. He said he wants to work on his family but it is going to take time to get over her. I understand that. It always takes time to get over something that you love be it a family member or a mate.

I asked him if he wanted our son to stay with him last night and he said no because he wanted to just be alone. She had some things to pick up that she had left and had still not picked them up yet. Something told me this was going to be a long night for me and it was. I couldn't sleep even with some help. I was up at 9:30pm telling him I couldn't sleep and heard her in the background. I felt like I was violating something again. I asked him if she was spending the night and he said he doubt it. He had told me earlier a clean break would be best but what is this? Watching a movie and hanging out?

If we are going to work on our stuff with each other it's going to be a long and hard road with no distractions. Those are going to be mega speed bumps in our relationship. I did not sleep well at all last night. I had night mares. Woke up and puked because of one of the night mares. I think I texted him at like 3a in the morning. When I left this morning her car was there. She had spent the night. I feel very hurt right now because I don't know what to think or do. I'm sure she's hurt too. I know Hubby is hurt. . . let's not even go into what our son is feeling right now because at this point he is on a roller coaster.

So to quote "Fear and Loathing" What's next? Hubby said he thought I would be doing back flips and ecstatic. I haven't talked to him yet today but can't help but wonder if some of this was planned, I have a lot of questions and don't know how to feel right now. I want to hold him and tell him that things will work out but we have to do it together not as a threesome as appealing as that sounds to most men. I don't know if he told me that to keep me from getting hurt. I know he was very hurt yesterday. He doesn't like to hurt anyone. I have noticed a pattern with this girl though. This is the second time he has broke it off with her and each time she cries all day and won't stop. I just don't get it. Hubby is a wonderful person and has a lot to offer. But slowly I am dying inside because I don't know "What's next" and what will happen.

Back flip? I feel like I just did a back flip over a brick wall that's 10 feet tall and I didn't make it. Maybe next time I will if the wall was just a little shorter. I can't wait to talk to Hubby to find out what I'm doing because half the time within the past 12 hours I don't know.