Here is another bitchy post about the drivers in St. Louis; although, this one happens to be sweet revenge.
I'm driving on a road that has intersection lights every mile to half a mile. I was on my way to work and in a very bitchy mood. Aunt flow came to visit me just as we were coming into the driveway this past Sunday afternoon. Today, unfortunately, was not a good day for a stranger to be inconsiderate in my book.
I was 3 lights away from my intersection to get me onto the main highway that I take to get into work. Low and behold, there is a white blazer and a large red truck side by side. Both roll their windows down, make cute little hand gestures, blah blah blah, blah blah blah. Light turns green and I wait, and wait and wait and wait for the damn fools to realize that green means go. I did not honk at them. I was a patient good little girl for once.
We reach the second light and the same thing happens again. Blah blah blah. This time when the light turned green I LAYYYYYYYYYYYYYD on the horn. Finally the white blazer pulls forward and I am next to the red truck now. It's some old fucking coger who is appalled when I mouth the word "cock-sucker" to him.
By the third light I was pissed beyond all recognition. The white car veers off into the left lane and I make an attempt to move forward into the lane I've been traveling which would put me between both men and put an end to all of this petty, feminine bullshit. All of a sudden said jackass veers back into my lane and we reach the light. They rolled their windows down again and that's when I made a total ass out of myself. I turned my obnoxiously loud stereo down and rolled all my windows down. I then screamed at the top of my lungs "MOVE YOUR COCK SUCKING FAGGOT ASS OUT OF MY MOTHER FUCKING WAY!!!!!!!!" Light turned green and white car got onto the highway and red truck pulled forward away from us.
As we traveled down the ramp I floored it and cut in front of the blazer and made my way to the passing lane. Oh by the way. . . when I passed the blazer, I flipped him off; just made me feel a lot better. The blazer freak was mad at this point and was up my ass and on fire. I threw my seat belt on as all I could see in my rear view mirror was grill and I laid on the break. Nothing. He was ready to run over my car.
Well as fate would have it we were approaching a hill. Low and behold in the lane next to me was a 53 footer (semi) and as most of you know, most semis slow down when going up a hill. I pulled up to the cab of the semi and rolled down my sun roof. I waved and smiled and blew kisses to the driver. The speed limit was 65 to 70mph and I was doing 50. I thought to myself "See? How does it feel when it's blatantly obvious that all you care about is you and nobody else?"
The poor truck driver was confused but seemed happy in a quirky way. The blazer finally got the picture and backed off. I sped away and left a string of cars pissed at the blazer for holding up commute.
Tuesday, October 31, 2006
Monday, October 30, 2006
And the Verdict is in!
Many of you know that my brother in law died in August. We have been waiting ever since then to get the toxicology report in. Most people don't understand that when you die suddenly at the age of 27 that there is cause for question. We had an autopsy done with just an arrow pointing to an enlarged liver which required it to be extracted and further testing done on it. This has also held up the release of the death certificate so that they could put cause of death on it.
Until just this past weekend.
Before I go any further, let me explain to you that when S died, my nutty mother in law told me this: "We all know how much S drank. Let's not ruin his memory with something like that. I don't people to know him for drinking."
Moving forward. S died of major cirrhosis of the liver; one which was 2 times the size of an adult's liver should be. This was also fueled by alcohol disease which pretty much seals the verdict that the boy basically drowned to death at an early age of alcohol. The individual that did the testing had said that any doctor could have just LOOKED at him (being jaundiced and all I can see how one would over-look that) and known that he had some form of cirrhosis. Sister in law said that she wasn't surprised as S had been a heavy drinker from the age of 17 on.
This morning, hubby had to go up to his parents house briefly. He then came back a few moments later and says this: "Get a load of what mom said to me just now. 'Now M, I know that Sis said something to you last night but we have all noticed that your stomach is getting bigger.' I just told her that I was only going to say this once, but there is a big difference between drinking something that is 5% vs. 80 proof. To which she said nothing." I told him they better not come down and start telling me how to live my life. Has it occurred to anyone that maybe I drink to have to keep from dealing with the reality that my inlaws are sick fucks? Maybe I drink just to forget the shitty day I had at work? Maybe I just drink because I'm a massive alcoholic? Either way I go, my birth mother died of METASTATIC LUNG CANCER TO BRAIN CANCER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My mother downed Crown on the rocks on a regular basis. She weighed under 100 pounds and could drink my ass under the table. It was her smoking that killed her; not her massive consumption of alcohol.
I am very glad that this has finally come out. It has put a lot of closure in place for our family which is greatly needed. Unfortunately Mom has stuffed one too many skeletons in her closet and there just isn't room in there for this one. I don't ever think she will be strong enough to be honest about the death of her son.
Until just this past weekend.
Before I go any further, let me explain to you that when S died, my nutty mother in law told me this: "We all know how much S drank. Let's not ruin his memory with something like that. I don't people to know him for drinking."
Moving forward. S died of major cirrhosis of the liver; one which was 2 times the size of an adult's liver should be. This was also fueled by alcohol disease which pretty much seals the verdict that the boy basically drowned to death at an early age of alcohol. The individual that did the testing had said that any doctor could have just LOOKED at him (being jaundiced and all I can see how one would over-look that) and known that he had some form of cirrhosis. Sister in law said that she wasn't surprised as S had been a heavy drinker from the age of 17 on.
This morning, hubby had to go up to his parents house briefly. He then came back a few moments later and says this: "Get a load of what mom said to me just now. 'Now M, I know that Sis said something to you last night but we have all noticed that your stomach is getting bigger.' I just told her that I was only going to say this once, but there is a big difference between drinking something that is 5% vs. 80 proof. To which she said nothing." I told him they better not come down and start telling me how to live my life. Has it occurred to anyone that maybe I drink to have to keep from dealing with the reality that my inlaws are sick fucks? Maybe I drink just to forget the shitty day I had at work? Maybe I just drink because I'm a massive alcoholic? Either way I go, my birth mother died of METASTATIC LUNG CANCER TO BRAIN CANCER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My mother downed Crown on the rocks on a regular basis. She weighed under 100 pounds and could drink my ass under the table. It was her smoking that killed her; not her massive consumption of alcohol.
I am very glad that this has finally come out. It has put a lot of closure in place for our family which is greatly needed. Unfortunately Mom has stuffed one too many skeletons in her closet and there just isn't room in there for this one. I don't ever think she will be strong enough to be honest about the death of her son.
Thursday, October 26, 2006
Another Crazy Dream
Last night I had a dream where it ran into an additional dream. Here is what happened:
First dream:
I was with a group of people like a village and I saw death approach the people. He was headed for me and I panicked and thought there would be no hope for me. One of the people said "He approached me and look at me! I'm fine!" Another person confirmed that the person had beat the hell out of death and death let her be. So death came to me and I willingly went. When nobody was looking, I hit him about the face and arms with a soup ladle. He looked at me and said "The last person who did that did not get far. You are here to pass a test. You must make wise choices that are selfless. If you can do that, you will be fine."
I went with him and did many things that I can't remember. I had to do another thing and I knew it was a selfless act having to do with another person and it felt right.
Second dream:
I was still at the village but death turned into hubby. I found out that he moved us to a different state altogether that was far away from where we live currently which was the village that I kept seeing. Next thing I know, things keep vanishing. First hubby is scarce and he has told me that he has a new job. I look for his clothes, they are all gone. Next his stereo is gone along with his truck. That is the true sign that he has left me. I start to cry uncontrollably. I run all over the village looking for him. I try calling him on his cell but it's been disconnected. I then run back to the house to find that my in laws are living there and no child to be found anywhere. I panicked and started crying again. I told them "Where could he be? Where is the baby? I am so lost without both of them." They reassured me that I was lost without them and told me to start rebuilding my life and get on without them.
Then I woke up and quickly rolled over to hubby to press my exhausted body next to his while he lay sleeping. It was one of the most comforting time that I've had in a while.
First dream:
I was with a group of people like a village and I saw death approach the people. He was headed for me and I panicked and thought there would be no hope for me. One of the people said "He approached me and look at me! I'm fine!" Another person confirmed that the person had beat the hell out of death and death let her be. So death came to me and I willingly went. When nobody was looking, I hit him about the face and arms with a soup ladle. He looked at me and said "The last person who did that did not get far. You are here to pass a test. You must make wise choices that are selfless. If you can do that, you will be fine."
I went with him and did many things that I can't remember. I had to do another thing and I knew it was a selfless act having to do with another person and it felt right.
Second dream:
I was still at the village but death turned into hubby. I found out that he moved us to a different state altogether that was far away from where we live currently which was the village that I kept seeing. Next thing I know, things keep vanishing. First hubby is scarce and he has told me that he has a new job. I look for his clothes, they are all gone. Next his stereo is gone along with his truck. That is the true sign that he has left me. I start to cry uncontrollably. I run all over the village looking for him. I try calling him on his cell but it's been disconnected. I then run back to the house to find that my in laws are living there and no child to be found anywhere. I panicked and started crying again. I told them "Where could he be? Where is the baby? I am so lost without both of them." They reassured me that I was lost without them and told me to start rebuilding my life and get on without them.
Then I woke up and quickly rolled over to hubby to press my exhausted body next to his while he lay sleeping. It was one of the most comforting time that I've had in a while.
Tuesday, October 24, 2006
Today Feels Like Monday
When I came in today, I made the comment to not only myself but to many others (including strangers) that I had the feeling that today wasn't going to be all that it was supposed to be cracked up to be.
Should have found some wood or a horny man's crotch to knock on.
First of all one of my co-workers called from Florida. He wanted the number to our IS department. I told him that it was 888-blah blah blah, blah blah blah. Meaning that this phone number actually spelled out a cute word. He then asked me to actually give him the number. My smart ass replied "What the hell kind of phone do you have that doesn't have numbers with corresponding letters on it?" He told me he had a blackberry. Whooptie fucking doo! So I spent 5 minutes finding the number for him and spent an additional 3 minutes reiterating it back to him.
Next, I had to correspond with the unholy bitch whom works for our corporate office and controls all of the corporate cards. I asked her a simple question such as "Who do I go to when you are not there? Do you have a backup person for the cards?" You would have thought I drove the 26 miles just to personally shove my stiletto boot right up her incredibly thick ass. She thought I was questioning her job abilities and then took a character punch against me. The thing that makes me the most mad about this broad is that she hasn't even been with the company for 6 months. I on the other hand have been here for 6 years. You would think I had retained some information in that time but apparently to her I have not.
Oh well! Tomorrow is a new day and am looking forward to it! Seems as though someone in the company took pity on my situation and we are going to lunch at a 5 star restaurant tomorrow!
Should have found some wood or a horny man's crotch to knock on.
First of all one of my co-workers called from Florida. He wanted the number to our IS department. I told him that it was 888-blah blah blah, blah blah blah. Meaning that this phone number actually spelled out a cute word. He then asked me to actually give him the number. My smart ass replied "What the hell kind of phone do you have that doesn't have numbers with corresponding letters on it?" He told me he had a blackberry. Whooptie fucking doo! So I spent 5 minutes finding the number for him and spent an additional 3 minutes reiterating it back to him.
Next, I had to correspond with the unholy bitch whom works for our corporate office and controls all of the corporate cards. I asked her a simple question such as "Who do I go to when you are not there? Do you have a backup person for the cards?" You would have thought I drove the 26 miles just to personally shove my stiletto boot right up her incredibly thick ass. She thought I was questioning her job abilities and then took a character punch against me. The thing that makes me the most mad about this broad is that she hasn't even been with the company for 6 months. I on the other hand have been here for 6 years. You would think I had retained some information in that time but apparently to her I have not.
Oh well! Tomorrow is a new day and am looking forward to it! Seems as though someone in the company took pity on my situation and we are going to lunch at a 5 star restaurant tomorrow!
Friday, October 20, 2006
Thursday, October 19, 2006
A little family history. . .
After seeing what I've wrote in the past, a little clarification seems in order. Here is a brief overview of the Fam:
After second brother died, sister in law was left with loans, loans and more loans not to mention the cost of all the extras that a death leaves behind.
Hope this helps.
- Hubby had 2 brothers. Hubby is the youngest.
- First and oldest one is M. M was 4 years older than I am.
- Second brother is Steve. He is 2 years older than hubby.
- First brother shot himself in the head when he was 27. Hubby was just 13 at the time.
- First brother had a wife and divorced well before he shot himself.
- Second brother died in August of liver failure at the age of 27 as well. Hubby is now 25 years old.
- Second brother was married at the time of his death and said widow has no where to turn.
- Second brother had the following before he died:
- A new home that was being built 35 minutes away from our home
- A brand new truck that had a powerstroke in it with an extended bed and cab - $50K
- 2 student loans; one for him and one for sis in law
- An RV
- 2 additional cars
- A 4-Wheeler
After second brother died, sister in law was left with loans, loans and more loans not to mention the cost of all the extras that a death leaves behind.
Hope this helps.
Siskel and Ebert strike again!
Okay. Who has seen Saw II? I just enrolled in Netflix and picked my movies. First one was Constantine. That was way more than what I had expected! I was thourouly entertained by that one. Next one was Saw II. I saw the first one and sawing off at the ankle freaked me out.
Not so much as the second one though.
The second one made the first look like child's play. Like there were some "epiphanies" when making the first. There were more people involved and they weren't confined to just one room. They had a whole house to explore! I thought about that, being the horror buff that I am, and have come to the conclusion that I think it would be exciting to find out "what comes next". I know that sounds sick and demented but every scary thing that you have never thought about was present in this movie.
Before I saw this movie, my best friend told me there was a scene in the movie that gave her nightmares. I was eager to find out what that was as I was watching the movie. One scene would pop up and I just knew it was that one. Then 10 minutes would pass and an even worse scenario would follow, leaving me confused as to "how much worse can this get?"
My housekeeping gal here at the office told me that Saw II and I made her laugh. What the hell is this bitch made out of? I found nothing funny in either of those movies. What is she a nut case and has similar situations happen in her world? If that's the case then she has no business taking out my trash and making sure that I have enough squares to spare when I drop the bomb!
Now if any of you have had the great pleasure of seeing Hostel, then THAT'S a funny movie. It had a great plot but way too much comedy for a horror flick. Best friend and I had girl's night and we watched this movie. We spent more time laughing than being scared. Oh now don't get me wrong. There were some funny parts. But for the most part we were sitting on the edge of our seat saying "when are we going to get scared?"
With my birthday being only 3 days before Halloween, I have always favored this time of year. I like being scared. I like the feeling that gruesome, terrible things have been thought up by other people and that I'm not the only one with a sick, demented mind.
For all of you with an expansive imagination, thanks for sharing with the rest of us that appreciate it!
Not so much as the second one though.
The second one made the first look like child's play. Like there were some "epiphanies" when making the first. There were more people involved and they weren't confined to just one room. They had a whole house to explore! I thought about that, being the horror buff that I am, and have come to the conclusion that I think it would be exciting to find out "what comes next". I know that sounds sick and demented but every scary thing that you have never thought about was present in this movie.
Before I saw this movie, my best friend told me there was a scene in the movie that gave her nightmares. I was eager to find out what that was as I was watching the movie. One scene would pop up and I just knew it was that one. Then 10 minutes would pass and an even worse scenario would follow, leaving me confused as to "how much worse can this get?"
My housekeeping gal here at the office told me that Saw II and I made her laugh. What the hell is this bitch made out of? I found nothing funny in either of those movies. What is she a nut case and has similar situations happen in her world? If that's the case then she has no business taking out my trash and making sure that I have enough squares to spare when I drop the bomb!
Now if any of you have had the great pleasure of seeing Hostel, then THAT'S a funny movie. It had a great plot but way too much comedy for a horror flick. Best friend and I had girl's night and we watched this movie. We spent more time laughing than being scared. Oh now don't get me wrong. There were some funny parts. But for the most part we were sitting on the edge of our seat saying "when are we going to get scared?"
With my birthday being only 3 days before Halloween, I have always favored this time of year. I like being scared. I like the feeling that gruesome, terrible things have been thought up by other people and that I'm not the only one with a sick, demented mind.
For all of you with an expansive imagination, thanks for sharing with the rest of us that appreciate it!
Wednesday, October 18, 2006
I am in a quandary
I wrote two posts back that my sister in law was a threat to me and that I didn't trust her intentions. With the support of good friends and advise, that foggy cloud has diminished and I felt a sense of overreaction on my part.
Until this weekend.
I left from work on Friday and didn't return until Monday evening. I spoke with hubby on Sunday night to let him know what time we were leaving the next morning so that he would know when to expect me. His words were this "Don't you EVER leave me alone with THOSE women again!" Who? Well he was referring to my mother in law and sister in law. I told him "I have had to spend plenty of time with your mom and didn't particularly care for it much but I sucked it up and did it anyway!" He then tells me that it wasn't so much his mom as it was sis.
Supposedly mom needed some furniture moved and an airconditioner. Hardly cause for drama but my mother in law always seems to find a way. Sis on the other hand overstepped her bounds. Rough synopsis of the weekend on the farm with Issy gone:
Act I
A comes down and plays video games with M.
Some other friends come to visit with M, one of whom have never seen our chickens.
Sis comes down and stands in the doorway between our kitchen and family room and says nothing.
Our friend that has never seen the chickens gets to tour the coop while A leaves to go to a hockey game.
Sis stays there with M and says nothing.
When said friends whom were looking at the coop comes back, Sis leaves and said friends part ways and leave too.
Act II
Sis comes down the next day and says to M that she is going to the store and would he like her to pick up anything. (Seems innocent so far) He says no thankyou.
Sis comes back from the store and asks is there anything that she can do around the house. (We're testing the line here but so far it still seems okay) M tells her no.
Sis ignores M and starts doing the dishes; all of them and then gets our little boy dressed for bed. (Here is where I start to have a problem)
Sis gets done and asks M if there is anything else she can do around the house so he sarcastically says that she can do the laundry if she wants. She starts going to the laundry room! Hubby then tells her that he's just joking.
Sis proceeds to sit down and tell hubby that before she met her husband that she was a virgin. WHOA!!!!!!!!!! WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE?????????????? WHO THE HELL CARES?????????????? The she proceeds to tell M that she was her husbands first.
So hubby asks me "Have you ever said something out of instinct and realized it after it was too late that it was the WRONG thing to say?" He tells her "No you weren't!"
BAM!
Bitch got the smackdown!
Now it's not hubby that I'm worried about, it's my sister in law. My hubby doesn't even know what my first time was and he should know that information; not about sis's. I was advised by my oldest sister in law to confront her. Ask what the hell were her intentions by telling hubby that. Needless to say, I am absolutely furious with her. My aunt even said that it doesn't look good for her to come down every day when I'm not there and I agree with her. Not to mention the fact that I feel completely let down. I've been told not only to keep a close eye on her but to basically be rude to her and tell her that her "services" are no longer necessary. I even had a close friend of mine tell me that she wouldn't be surprised if my mother in law put her up to it since she is upset that she will never have anymore grandchildren with the death of her son.
If I find out that is the case, I have only one piece of advise to give to them: "Both of you bitches better pack a fuckin' lunch".
Until this weekend.
I left from work on Friday and didn't return until Monday evening. I spoke with hubby on Sunday night to let him know what time we were leaving the next morning so that he would know when to expect me. His words were this "Don't you EVER leave me alone with THOSE women again!" Who? Well he was referring to my mother in law and sister in law. I told him "I have had to spend plenty of time with your mom and didn't particularly care for it much but I sucked it up and did it anyway!" He then tells me that it wasn't so much his mom as it was sis.
Supposedly mom needed some furniture moved and an airconditioner. Hardly cause for drama but my mother in law always seems to find a way. Sis on the other hand overstepped her bounds. Rough synopsis of the weekend on the farm with Issy gone:
Act I
A comes down and plays video games with M.
Some other friends come to visit with M, one of whom have never seen our chickens.
Sis comes down and stands in the doorway between our kitchen and family room and says nothing.
Our friend that has never seen the chickens gets to tour the coop while A leaves to go to a hockey game.
Sis stays there with M and says nothing.
When said friends whom were looking at the coop comes back, Sis leaves and said friends part ways and leave too.
Act II
Sis comes down the next day and says to M that she is going to the store and would he like her to pick up anything. (Seems innocent so far) He says no thankyou.
Sis comes back from the store and asks is there anything that she can do around the house. (We're testing the line here but so far it still seems okay) M tells her no.
Sis ignores M and starts doing the dishes; all of them and then gets our little boy dressed for bed. (Here is where I start to have a problem)
Sis gets done and asks M if there is anything else she can do around the house so he sarcastically says that she can do the laundry if she wants. She starts going to the laundry room! Hubby then tells her that he's just joking.
Sis proceeds to sit down and tell hubby that before she met her husband that she was a virgin. WHOA!!!!!!!!!! WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE?????????????? WHO THE HELL CARES?????????????? The she proceeds to tell M that she was her husbands first.
So hubby asks me "Have you ever said something out of instinct and realized it after it was too late that it was the WRONG thing to say?" He tells her "No you weren't!"
BAM!
Bitch got the smackdown!
Now it's not hubby that I'm worried about, it's my sister in law. My hubby doesn't even know what my first time was and he should know that information; not about sis's. I was advised by my oldest sister in law to confront her. Ask what the hell were her intentions by telling hubby that. Needless to say, I am absolutely furious with her. My aunt even said that it doesn't look good for her to come down every day when I'm not there and I agree with her. Not to mention the fact that I feel completely let down. I've been told not only to keep a close eye on her but to basically be rude to her and tell her that her "services" are no longer necessary. I even had a close friend of mine tell me that she wouldn't be surprised if my mother in law put her up to it since she is upset that she will never have anymore grandchildren with the death of her son.
If I find out that is the case, I have only one piece of advise to give to them: "Both of you bitches better pack a fuckin' lunch".
Tuesday, October 17, 2006
Corn
What can you do with corn? Let me count the ways:
I went to Iowa this past weekend for my great aunt's 90th birthday. It's been a long time since I've been there and forgot how flat and desolate Iowa can be; not to mention the enormous amount of corn that they have. I went during harvest time. . . .everywhere we went "oh! It's harvest time! Didn't you know that?" I gathered as much with the huge dust bowls that were being kicked up by massive combines and trucks that were cutting the stalks.
I was never so grateful to get home away from corn!
- You can grill it
- You can eat it
- You can schuck it
- You can wipe your butt with it
- You can watch the kernels regroup in your shit
- You can feed your livestock with it
- You can harvest it
- You can use it in just about every product that you buy at the store with it
- You can throw it out the window at a passerby if your pissed at them when driving
- You can feed squirrels with it
- You can butter it
I went to Iowa this past weekend for my great aunt's 90th birthday. It's been a long time since I've been there and forgot how flat and desolate Iowa can be; not to mention the enormous amount of corn that they have. I went during harvest time. . . .everywhere we went "oh! It's harvest time! Didn't you know that?" I gathered as much with the huge dust bowls that were being kicked up by massive combines and trucks that were cutting the stalks.
I was never so grateful to get home away from corn!
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
Part Deux
Okay. I told you yesterday that I was going to tell you the second part which was a "firey" topic. Basically I need some feedback from some of you.
Over the weekend (Saturday to be exact) my sister in law came to the house; the one that just lost her husband. We all sat outside drinking. . .a lot. I made a fire in the garden chimney that we have and proceeded to listen to hubbies bullshit:
"Oh you should go tanning sometime. You would look awesome with a tan."
"Oh you should go workout sometime."
"Oh you should get colored contacts because you have such large prominent eyes that they would look great with green contacts."
All of these statements were directed to said sis. Being the drunken bitch that I can become, I chose to keep my mouth shut for fear of finding out what my shoe tasted like. Then they started punching the punching bag. She would hold it while he punched. Mind you I was just sitting there feeling like an idiot but more importantly I felt left out.
Then he whispers to me as she's walking over to the other side of the yard "look at her honey, she is all alone and with nobody".
Next thing I know, they are going up to the roof to party. I stayed behind and he asks me "well are you coming?" Fine. I'll climb my drunk ass onto the roof. I sat up there with them for about 15 minutes when I started to get cold and saw that the fire was starting to die down. I needed to go down but was too tipsy to get down on my own. Hubby reluctantly helped me down by jumping onto the tailgate of his truck and instructed me to follow as he held my hands. As soon as I got to the tailgate, we both started to fall off of the tailgate and fell to the ground. Hubby laid on the ground moaning. I asked him if he hurt himself and he just held is pitiful crotch and said "Oh! I smashed my left nut!" Hahahaha! Karma is a bitch isn't it? He then says to me "Well I'm going back up on the roof". Whatever.
I was curious as to what was going on so I went to the barn to get more firewood. On my way back, I would see what was going on. When I came out, they were sitting next to each other like he and I would. It really bothered me so I just went inside and started getting ready for bed. A few moments later he came in and I pretended to be asleep. He rubbed my hair and whispered "I love you and you will always be mine". I don't think he intended to have me HEAR that. I went to bed at close to midnight. He came to bed at 1:30a.
So my question is, what was he doing? Or do I even want to know? I think that God instills a sense in women when it comes to jealousy. I don't think it's a "false" feeling and it's there for a reason. So, I know what B will say but I just wonder if I'm overreacting. I don't think that I am.
Over the weekend (Saturday to be exact) my sister in law came to the house; the one that just lost her husband. We all sat outside drinking. . .a lot. I made a fire in the garden chimney that we have and proceeded to listen to hubbies bullshit:
"Oh you should go tanning sometime. You would look awesome with a tan."
"Oh you should go workout sometime."
"Oh you should get colored contacts because you have such large prominent eyes that they would look great with green contacts."
All of these statements were directed to said sis. Being the drunken bitch that I can become, I chose to keep my mouth shut for fear of finding out what my shoe tasted like. Then they started punching the punching bag. She would hold it while he punched. Mind you I was just sitting there feeling like an idiot but more importantly I felt left out.
Then he whispers to me as she's walking over to the other side of the yard "look at her honey, she is all alone and with nobody".
Next thing I know, they are going up to the roof to party. I stayed behind and he asks me "well are you coming?" Fine. I'll climb my drunk ass onto the roof. I sat up there with them for about 15 minutes when I started to get cold and saw that the fire was starting to die down. I needed to go down but was too tipsy to get down on my own. Hubby reluctantly helped me down by jumping onto the tailgate of his truck and instructed me to follow as he held my hands. As soon as I got to the tailgate, we both started to fall off of the tailgate and fell to the ground. Hubby laid on the ground moaning. I asked him if he hurt himself and he just held is pitiful crotch and said "Oh! I smashed my left nut!" Hahahaha! Karma is a bitch isn't it? He then says to me "Well I'm going back up on the roof". Whatever.
I was curious as to what was going on so I went to the barn to get more firewood. On my way back, I would see what was going on. When I came out, they were sitting next to each other like he and I would. It really bothered me so I just went inside and started getting ready for bed. A few moments later he came in and I pretended to be asleep. He rubbed my hair and whispered "I love you and you will always be mine". I don't think he intended to have me HEAR that. I went to bed at close to midnight. He came to bed at 1:30a.
So my question is, what was he doing? Or do I even want to know? I think that God instills a sense in women when it comes to jealousy. I don't think it's a "false" feeling and it's there for a reason. So, I know what B will say but I just wonder if I'm overreacting. I don't think that I am.
Monday, October 09, 2006
Trapped!
Why is it that whenever I try a little bit to ease back into the relationship with my mother-in-law, something backfires?
I had to get my brakes fixed this weekend and hubby was working. I asked if one of my in-laws could pick me up from the mechanics and drop me off when it's all done. When I got to the mechanic's shop, my mother in law was already there weeping in front of the mechanic. Said mechanic says "why would God do this to you and your family?" Argh! Wrong thing to say dude! A flood of tears came and she dramatically replied "oh T! I don't know!"
Let's move now to act 2.
We are driving to Wally world and she proceeds to tell me that she and her husband fight all the time now and that with Steve's death, it's going to break the two of them up. Now my relationship with hubby has grown dramatically but how can I throw that into her face? Just because she chooses to blame everything on the demise of her relationship, why should I subject myself to listening to this crap? BOTH of them need to seek an outside third party if they want it to work out between them. When hubby and I lost our first child, it was devastating on us but it brought us closer.
Now the final clincher; the grand finale.
Driving back from Garden Ridge yesterday, out of the blue, she decides that she needs to re-visit the topic of the ever popular spanking of my son. Now hubby had told dad that he did not want him to spank him at all. Here is where the "trapped" part comes into play. Whenever I am faced with a really controversial topic, I am always stuck in the car with her with no where to hide. Here is the dialog:
"K is really mad about M accusing him of spanking A"
"Have you talked to him about it since everything has happened?"
"No. It won't do any good. M will do whatever he wants"
"Don't you think it's an issue about respecting our wishes as his parents?"
"No. It's not like he beats him or anything"
"No, it's about M asking K not to touch him and he did it anyway"
"I think you are wrong"
"I think you are in no position to say aything as you had 3 boys and now you're down to one"
"I can't believe you are being so cruel"
"I can't believe how much longer you are going to continue playing the martyr!"
Silence
"If you want him to change, you have to tell him how you feel or else he won't know what's wrong and have the opportunity to do something about it. It's not fair of you to blame him for all kinds of stuff and not let him in on it. What's even more unfair is that you tell me all of this stuff and most of it has nothing to do with me. I told you I don't want to be in the middle and here we go again. . . you're assuming that I want to be here in the middle of your family's issues when in reality, my alliance sticks with M, not you"
I wasn't hurt; I was done. I'm tired of his family acting like it's acceptable to include me in on there issues of woe-as-me. M made a great point over the weekend: We are alive. I'm sorry that my brother isn't here but we need to move on. We have a life and he would want us to live it, not dwell on what we don't have.
We drove home in silence and then I brought up another firey topic but I will save that for tomorrow!
I had to get my brakes fixed this weekend and hubby was working. I asked if one of my in-laws could pick me up from the mechanics and drop me off when it's all done. When I got to the mechanic's shop, my mother in law was already there weeping in front of the mechanic. Said mechanic says "why would God do this to you and your family?" Argh! Wrong thing to say dude! A flood of tears came and she dramatically replied "oh T! I don't know!"
Let's move now to act 2.
We are driving to Wally world and she proceeds to tell me that she and her husband fight all the time now and that with Steve's death, it's going to break the two of them up. Now my relationship with hubby has grown dramatically but how can I throw that into her face? Just because she chooses to blame everything on the demise of her relationship, why should I subject myself to listening to this crap? BOTH of them need to seek an outside third party if they want it to work out between them. When hubby and I lost our first child, it was devastating on us but it brought us closer.
Now the final clincher; the grand finale.
Driving back from Garden Ridge yesterday, out of the blue, she decides that she needs to re-visit the topic of the ever popular spanking of my son. Now hubby had told dad that he did not want him to spank him at all. Here is where the "trapped" part comes into play. Whenever I am faced with a really controversial topic, I am always stuck in the car with her with no where to hide. Here is the dialog:
"K is really mad about M accusing him of spanking A"
"Have you talked to him about it since everything has happened?"
"No. It won't do any good. M will do whatever he wants"
"Don't you think it's an issue about respecting our wishes as his parents?"
"No. It's not like he beats him or anything"
"No, it's about M asking K not to touch him and he did it anyway"
"I think you are wrong"
"I think you are in no position to say aything as you had 3 boys and now you're down to one"
"I can't believe you are being so cruel"
"I can't believe how much longer you are going to continue playing the martyr!"
Silence
"If you want him to change, you have to tell him how you feel or else he won't know what's wrong and have the opportunity to do something about it. It's not fair of you to blame him for all kinds of stuff and not let him in on it. What's even more unfair is that you tell me all of this stuff and most of it has nothing to do with me. I told you I don't want to be in the middle and here we go again. . . you're assuming that I want to be here in the middle of your family's issues when in reality, my alliance sticks with M, not you"
I wasn't hurt; I was done. I'm tired of his family acting like it's acceptable to include me in on there issues of woe-as-me. M made a great point over the weekend: We are alive. I'm sorry that my brother isn't here but we need to move on. We have a life and he would want us to live it, not dwell on what we don't have.
We drove home in silence and then I brought up another firey topic but I will save that for tomorrow!
Friday, October 06, 2006
Thursday, October 05, 2006
Memories of my Mom
This is Mom and me playing pool. She beat my ass!
This is a picture of my Mom and I when we first met.
This is a picture of Hubby and I in Colorado when we first met my mother for the very first time in my life. We went to a winery which was run by a bunch of nuns not to mention that the wine was absolutely FABULOUS! This is a very special picture to me.
The Wheels on the Bus go Round and Round
Yesterday was my 3.5 year old's first day at a new school. I preped him all day the day before that he was going to be a big boy and ride the school bus. He we really excited! The only problem I had yesterday was that he didn't want to get into the car to go to daycare because he thought that the bus was coming to our home. It took me the whole commute to explain to him that the driver was expecting him to be at daycare.
I called yesterday at around 9a to his daycare just to make sure that he got on okay. They told me he was so cute! He and his teacher waited on the curb for the bus to arrive. When it got there he marched right up to the driver and said a polite "hello". His teacher got him into his seat next to a little boy whom asked him "what's your name?" They exchanged names and drove off all proud that he was now a big boy.
He came back and I took off of work early. I just couldn't stand it anymore. I had to find out how his day went and what he did and most importantly "what was it like riding the bus buddy?" When I got to his daycare he was wired! He was running all around his class yelling "I rode school bus!!!!!!!" The other kids were sleeping but not for long.
Finally I drove him to the little corner store for a treat and good conversation the rest of the way home. Every bus he saw he wanted to ride. It was so nostalgic for me to see my little boy growing up so fast!
I called yesterday at around 9a to his daycare just to make sure that he got on okay. They told me he was so cute! He and his teacher waited on the curb for the bus to arrive. When it got there he marched right up to the driver and said a polite "hello". His teacher got him into his seat next to a little boy whom asked him "what's your name?" They exchanged names and drove off all proud that he was now a big boy.
He came back and I took off of work early. I just couldn't stand it anymore. I had to find out how his day went and what he did and most importantly "what was it like riding the bus buddy?" When I got to his daycare he was wired! He was running all around his class yelling "I rode school bus!!!!!!!" The other kids were sleeping but not for long.
Finally I drove him to the little corner store for a treat and good conversation the rest of the way home. Every bus he saw he wanted to ride. It was so nostalgic for me to see my little boy growing up so fast!
Tuesday, October 03, 2006
Merry Christmas my Ass!
I found out over the weekend that my brother is coming home for Christmas. He lives in Japan with his new wife and new daughter. When I go to my parents house it's ALL about my brother. It's literally nauseating. I think it makes me sick because they don't act like that about my son. My daughter was the first so she was in like Flynn but not my kid. I know it's jealously and that is such an ugly trait to have.
Here's a little history as to why the vein runs so deep:
When I was growing up, my brother never got spanked. Oh I sure did. . . plenty of times.
My brother hardly had to work and went to school for a lot longer than I did because he screwed around a lot.
If his bank account got low, they would fill it up again so that he would be comfy.
When my brother was living in Kansas, they would drive on a regular basis to see him. It was a 3 to 4 hour drive. I only live 35 minutes away and they only come to see us when it's my son's birthday.
My parents paid for his education and I had to go through vocational rehabilitation because they just couldn't afford to send me to college. That was a slap in the face considering that my brother should have been out of school in 4 years and it took him 5.5 years to get out and because he couldn't keep his dick in his pants, he just couldn't get his teaching certificate. What!
My brother now works in Japan making close to 24K a year. It is really expensive to live in Japan and his real salary is closer to 12K. I just don't understand.
If I am expected to buy for them when they aren't going to try to get something for my family, what the hell is the point? I just wish my brother would do a little growing up. We have a very strained relationship and have tried to get close but my mother always provides this wonderful barrier that keeps that from happening. If I ask for him to come down directly she will tell me that he just doesn't have the time. So I have resorted to asking him but by then, she's already filled up his dance card. The thing is that he is absolutely terrified of my mom. Me on the other hand, am not. I have offered to beat her ass for some of the family and meant it.
It's a damn shame that my brother owns more skirts and dresses than I do just for the simple fact that he is a bonified bitch. I have relinquished that title as I don't think its fitting enough for me. I would like to say that I have upgraded my class to cunt.
Here's a little history as to why the vein runs so deep:
When I was growing up, my brother never got spanked. Oh I sure did. . . plenty of times.
My brother hardly had to work and went to school for a lot longer than I did because he screwed around a lot.
If his bank account got low, they would fill it up again so that he would be comfy.
When my brother was living in Kansas, they would drive on a regular basis to see him. It was a 3 to 4 hour drive. I only live 35 minutes away and they only come to see us when it's my son's birthday.
My parents paid for his education and I had to go through vocational rehabilitation because they just couldn't afford to send me to college. That was a slap in the face considering that my brother should have been out of school in 4 years and it took him 5.5 years to get out and because he couldn't keep his dick in his pants, he just couldn't get his teaching certificate. What!
My brother now works in Japan making close to 24K a year. It is really expensive to live in Japan and his real salary is closer to 12K. I just don't understand.
If I am expected to buy for them when they aren't going to try to get something for my family, what the hell is the point? I just wish my brother would do a little growing up. We have a very strained relationship and have tried to get close but my mother always provides this wonderful barrier that keeps that from happening. If I ask for him to come down directly she will tell me that he just doesn't have the time. So I have resorted to asking him but by then, she's already filled up his dance card. The thing is that he is absolutely terrified of my mom. Me on the other hand, am not. I have offered to beat her ass for some of the family and meant it.
It's a damn shame that my brother owns more skirts and dresses than I do just for the simple fact that he is a bonified bitch. I have relinquished that title as I don't think its fitting enough for me. I would like to say that I have upgraded my class to cunt.
Monday, October 02, 2006
King Cock
I have a major problem or just a super annoying one. My father in law thinks that he is invincible. It's really irritating.
He thinks that because he grew up on a farm that he's tough. He thinks that because he loans money out to the boys at the yard with a 3% interest rate that nobody should mess with him. When his wife knew that he was cheating on him, she called me and asked me to call her when he left the house. He called me "snoop" for that. When I told my man that his father was spanking our son AFTER my man had said long ago "don't hit my kid", he won't look me in the eye and I'm sure that behind my back my new title is now "bitch" according to him.
My response to that is "I've been called worse by better people" or as my boss likes to say "True story! You suck".
This man (my father in law) is so broken down that I don't understand why he would run his mouth the way he does. A friend of ours came to the house the other night and did donuts in our field. We let him as it really didn't hurt anything. A few days later I go up to my in-laws house and Dad asks me really coldly "Who was tearin up the field the other night?" I should have told him to go ask his son but instead I told him that D had done it:
"I ought to kick his ass! He got fuckin mud all over the side of the RV! Next time I see that prick, I'm going to kick his ass!"
For crying out loud! What the hell? I could understand if he crashed into the side of the RV but come on! It's parked on our property! I asked him this:
"Would you like me to go down there and clean it off for you?"
Of course, I was being sarcastic about it because I'm tired of hearing how "Billy-bad-ass" he is.
One day last week, there were dog prints outside of the barn. I asked him if he had seen them and he said "It's two dogs with collars. One is medium build and the other one is larger. If I see them here again, I'm going to kill them!" Now pop has many guns and I wouldn't put it past him to kill something just out of irritation. But once again, my smart ass has to say this:
"What, are you going to take their dead carcass and toss it out onto the front yard so that the owners of the dog get the idea?"
I told my man the other night that I had it with him. There will always be someone faster, stronger and bigger than you. If you loose sight to that fact, there's a real problem. I told my sister in law that I ought to beat his ass just to shut him up. His knees are a disaster (nothing that a little graphite couldn't handle), his back is a wreck (I think kick boxing from the back would do), his toes are artificial (oops! I didn't see that cylinder block there! Silly me!) and both of his shoulders are screwed (for that one, I can help him with something heavy and just walk away but that would be SOOOOOOOOOOOOO obvious!)
And they can't figure out why we won't let our son spend time with him! Hmmmmm wonder why ya fucking dumb-asses!
He thinks that because he grew up on a farm that he's tough. He thinks that because he loans money out to the boys at the yard with a 3% interest rate that nobody should mess with him. When his wife knew that he was cheating on him, she called me and asked me to call her when he left the house. He called me "snoop" for that. When I told my man that his father was spanking our son AFTER my man had said long ago "don't hit my kid", he won't look me in the eye and I'm sure that behind my back my new title is now "bitch" according to him.
My response to that is "I've been called worse by better people" or as my boss likes to say "True story! You suck".
This man (my father in law) is so broken down that I don't understand why he would run his mouth the way he does. A friend of ours came to the house the other night and did donuts in our field. We let him as it really didn't hurt anything. A few days later I go up to my in-laws house and Dad asks me really coldly "Who was tearin up the field the other night?" I should have told him to go ask his son but instead I told him that D had done it:
"I ought to kick his ass! He got fuckin mud all over the side of the RV! Next time I see that prick, I'm going to kick his ass!"
For crying out loud! What the hell? I could understand if he crashed into the side of the RV but come on! It's parked on our property! I asked him this:
"Would you like me to go down there and clean it off for you?"
Of course, I was being sarcastic about it because I'm tired of hearing how "Billy-bad-ass" he is.
One day last week, there were dog prints outside of the barn. I asked him if he had seen them and he said "It's two dogs with collars. One is medium build and the other one is larger. If I see them here again, I'm going to kill them!" Now pop has many guns and I wouldn't put it past him to kill something just out of irritation. But once again, my smart ass has to say this:
"What, are you going to take their dead carcass and toss it out onto the front yard so that the owners of the dog get the idea?"
I told my man the other night that I had it with him. There will always be someone faster, stronger and bigger than you. If you loose sight to that fact, there's a real problem. I told my sister in law that I ought to beat his ass just to shut him up. His knees are a disaster (nothing that a little graphite couldn't handle), his back is a wreck (I think kick boxing from the back would do), his toes are artificial (oops! I didn't see that cylinder block there! Silly me!) and both of his shoulders are screwed (for that one, I can help him with something heavy and just walk away but that would be SOOOOOOOOOOOOO obvious!)
And they can't figure out why we won't let our son spend time with him! Hmmmmm wonder why ya fucking dumb-asses!
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