Scenes from a Bar

Over the weekend I had a few baby showers to go to and a 4 year old birthday party to take my son to. All were normal EXCEPT for one of the showers. It was held at the local hole in the wall bar. Now I ask you, how white trash, hoosier is that? Because my son's party was last and we have no sitter available, all family members were in tow.

Now let me tell you something, a bar is no place for a 3 year old. It was way confusing for the patrons as well. Just imagine, you are wanting to go relax at your favorite dive with the same nasty mug that may or may not have the local whore's lipstick on the rim. You walk in, and low and behold, there are a bunch of women sitting around with punch and crumpets along with a 3 year old running around. . . who the hell can relax? Who would want to? No, I do say this, on behalf of the bar, it might be a good marketing scheme as I would personally drink more knowing that I would need the extra alcohol to cover up reality. However, I watched my son like a hawk because I know how the town drunk can get. I didn't want my son being himself which is to say that he can and will be a holy terror and I didn't want the bar flies to get irritated. Next thing I know said brat is crawling around on top of the pool tables! Arrg! Time for mommy to go to the bar and partake in stiff one!

It doesn't help that every form of sugar was on the tables, lollipops, jelly beans, mints you name it. And since there wasn't much for the young tot to do, lots of candy went into said mouth to keep him occupied. Bad move on our part. Eight lollipops later, we found out we had made the wrong choice. We found out that eight lollipops warrants the behavior of a certain three year old to crawl like a dog on pool tables and throw cue balls across the bar. At one point in time I threatened his father and told him to start dipping his lollipops into his beer. That would at least slow him down!