Warning! Snow!

I live in St. Louis where the easiest job in the nation can be found. . . .a meteorologist. All a meteorologist in St. Louis needs is a rock:

• If rock is wet it's raining
• If rock is white it's snowing
• If rock is hot, temp is up
• If rock is swinging, it's windy
• If rock is gone there's a tornado

See, I could be a meteorologist!

We have a forecast of accumulated snow of about 5-7" starting today and going into tomorrow evening. What's that? Did I hear a rumor that possibly it's been upgraded to 12" now? The unfortante thing about living in St. Louis too has to do with the fact that there are a lot of people with idle time on their hands and room to come up with grandiose rumors. How can one be a weatherman in this town with THAT working against them along with unpredictable weather?

Oh. . . latestest update. . . .our winter "watch" has been cancelled and replaced with a winter "warning". If you don't hear from me within a week, you know that I got snowed in.

Upcoming Election

I'm mostly writing this because it's my 101st entry and even more so my friend Barbarian will comment.

As most of you know, I am not a registered voter therefore I do not feel as though I need to share my opinion with politics. If I did want to share my views, I would register. However, I have been inundated with politics lately. Hillary is in this city and now she has her daughter campaigning for her. . . not to mention her adulterous husband is "lending a hand" so to speak. Here's an interesting thought to ponder: What if Hillary is elected president and she gets caught in the Oval Office gettin the nibble? Will it be a public crisis for all to judge or will we just call it tit for tat since the ol hubby got to do it?

Then there's Obama. He's in the same varying states as Hillary but he's a horse of a different color so what will happen with that? The Ku Klux Klan has already made a public announcement about if he were to be elected so why would the public even consider someone with a death threat over their head? We'd pick that poor man and he'd be dead within the week. Would the Ku even have time to vote while they are plotting their assassination? Priorities people, priorities. You've got to take the Ku seriously. . . you know they mean business. . . they even tried to adopt a highway and we all know how that panned out.

Then there's poor Mr. Edwards. Where does he fit into everything? He's kind of like Where's Waldo. . . He's the third wheel. . .the little kid that got left out.

Don't get me started on all of the "little guys" like Romney and McClain (If I spelled it wrong don't be offended. . . I'm too lazy to look it up). Mit had some sort of controversy about his religion and where he stood at in society at one point of time and now poof! He looks like he'd be a great president so why not pick him? They did studies on who "looked" like the better president aesthetically speaking. . . .are you flipping kidding me? Are good looks going to get us out of a health care crisis? Are good looks going to stop the war from happening? Are good looks going to stop the recession that is going on in this country?

My basic point is this: I'm glad that I'm not a voter. How would I know what to vote on? If there is this much drama that the public has to weed through just to find out what these candidates are REALLY about, how can they possibly expect the public to make a fair, educated guess? I have a really bad feeling that this is George W. all over again. . . . good luck folks! At least I can say that I didn't contribute.

Progress not perfection. . .

I have busting my ASS with getting in shape for this coming summer. We have a boat that we go out on a number of times during the year and in the past I would wear my bikini, look in the mirror get depressed and then go grab a number of alcoholic items and begin the process of not caring. After you've had a lot to drink, you don't really care what you look like and I looked like the dairy department. . . . cottage cheese anyone?

I had my weight training class last night and it's tough! I have skipped it a couple of times because I can't walk the next day but I figure if I'm consistent with it, I'll be able to get out of bed sometime and be really fit all at the same time. If anything, all this exercise is making me sleep like a log at night and my alcohol consumption has be drastically cut back.

Last night I came home from my class and decided to try on my old bikini that I used to wear but knew it was a bit too small for me. I put it on last night and was absolutely shocked. There was nothing sticking out over the top of the bottoms in front and I could actually wear the bottoms a around my hips instead of hiking it up and tucking all the extra fat inside. I turned around and my butt actually looked toned. It's a playboy bunny bikini which is purple iridescent and it's a string so there's not too much to it. When I saw it, it looked great on the hanger and looked okay on me. Now it looks awesome! I ran out to the family room to show hubby. . . .

He told me that he has noticed a drastic change in my body and to keep up the good work! I am so proud of the work that I've done. I just never thought I'd be able to accomplish this! Just some stats:

• I've lost 10 pounds since Thanksgiving - down to 135 pounds
• I've lost 4 inches around my hips within the past year
• I've lost 6 inches around my waist within the past year
• I've lost 2 inches from my neck within the past year
• I can't wear my size 10 pants as I walk out of them which at one point in time, that was my goal size. . . now it's a size 6 which is what I wore like 10 years ago

I have literally changed my body and feel awesome about it! The biggest benefit is that other people can see it to so I know I'm not kidding myself. . .in the past the mirror has always lied or else told a very ugly truth in my eyes. Now I don't need a mirror! I have other people that notice my progress and encourage me to keep going! Thanks everyone for the great support!

Public Schools

My 4 year old goes to a specialized public school that is offered by my district that is free because it is funded by the taxpayers such as myself. He goes for speech and for his behavior both of which he has improved on greatly but still needs more work.

About 2 weeks ago, our son started acting out. One day it was "school" and the next it was daycare but we could never clearly see a pattern as to where it was coming from. Finally last Thursday, everything came to a head. He had a meltdown at school and then another one later on at daycare. When I say meltdown I mean growing horns and a tail and he is throwing his pitchfork directly at your face because that's where he posted the bull's eye. When asked what was wrong, he couldn't tell you if the sky was blue. Some of that has to do with his language and being able to create sentences out of ideas in his head.

He didn't go to school on Friday because they are closed on Friday and he was sick on Saturday and Sunday with a fever. On Monday we had a holiday so school was closed and yesterday the weather was bad so they closed it that day too. I also forgot to add that everyday for the past 2 weeks he's told me that he doesn't want to go to school. This morning was his first day back in 5 days. For a 4 year old, that would be plenty of time to forget whatever it was bothering him in the first place to make him not want to be there. Not the case today. He tried to tell me that school was closed today and that he couldn't go because it wasn't open. When he was at daycare and they tried to put him on the bus to get him to school, he threw an awful fit and threw his coat and book bag and started screaming. . . .

I'm sorry, children don't do that for no reason at all. There has GOT to be a reason why he is acting like this. I want to make one thing clear before I go further, I do not condone this behavior, nor do I make excuses for it. However, in order for me to be a good parent, I need to know WHY it's happening in order to help my child. My son does not have the skills to be able to explain why a leaf is green or why he had to go potty earlier. He just knows that he did it. His cognitive skills are in need of a lot of work.

I have been going back and forth with the "school" and they insist that he has ADHD and that he needs medicine. They claim that everything that is wrong with my son has to do with his attention issues or that they think we starve him or keep him up at all hours of the night or that the daycare that we chose for him is inadequate. Never mind the fact that they do not take responsibility for their role in his life even though he spends approximately 25% of his day with them throughout the week.

So I asked them the mind blowing question today of "Within the past month, has my son been successful within your program and if so, how. . . give me some examples". I was told that he is successful at recess and doing things that only he wants to do. Fucking mind boggling! Who knew he needed such comprehensive help with running around outside and being a kid?

People, this is what your tax dollars are going towards. I just got done paying personal property taxes and saw that I was paying over $400 alone to the school district annually. My taxes were just shy of $700 so you can easily do that math. My question is if I'm paying so much money for the school system, why am I not getting better care? I have a coworker that doesn't even have children and he has to pay the same amount that I do! That's a bunch of bullshit in my opinion. I'd be pissed as hell if I had no children AND I had to pay for a crappy public service that was the most expensive allocation on the breakdown. I would think that fire and sewer. . . things that ALL of us benefit from would be up there but no. The highest paid government facility which happens to be the shittiest out of all of them gets the most money.

I've talked extensively with hubby and equally as much with my daycare provider who has a degree in early childhood education. Both have a unanimous opinion that he needs to come out of this program. What bothers me more than anything is that there is something going on that someone is not being honest about and my son doesn't have the ability to tell me what that is. Either way, he is not going there any longer. . . .

Is it that hard to bathe??????????

Hubby has been off of work for a while now. He inundates himself with video games and reality. . . literally. So last night I ask him (because he smelled of the funk) when the last time it was that he thought it completely necessary to bathe. He tells me Tuesday of last week. . . . .

WTF???????????????????????

Okay ladies, what woman in their right mind would want to fuck something that has not been cleaned in almost a week let alone go down on that?

And boys (I say boys because a real man would know to find the soap and washcloth and use the son of a bitch) what would ever posses you to think that a woman would find the toe jam that had made its way up to your ball sack even remotely appealing?

I just don't understand it. Just because you can doesn't mean you should. I could say the same about shaving but I don't just because I can't stand myself. Maybe it's a guy thing. I think it must be. I don't know too many woman that can go 3 days let alone a whole week without bathing. It's just nasty.

My god the crosses that I have to bear in life. . . . . .

Little Ones Getting Sick

Over the weekend my son got very ill. He had an awful cough and started running a temp. Then he started coughing so much that it made him puke. Yuck.

Taking care of a wee one is hard when they are so small. My son had RSV when he was an infant and that was exhausting. Just trying to do everything in your power to make them feel better and knowing that nothing works is heartbreaking. All weekend long my little boy would come up to me and tell me that he loved me so much and that I was his best friend. He also kept up with his manners to which there was an overabundance of pleases and thankyous.

I was up at 4am this morning dealing with the cough. Then I was up at my normal time of 6am to get myself ready for work. Right behind me was my little sicko looking like a crime scene. He had apparently had a confrontation with his nose. There was blood everywhere. He was doing his best to clean it up too which for whatever reason I found sweet. I guess he was tired of mommy taking care of him all weekend. I cleaned him up and sent him back to bed where he went to sleep.

Later this morning I talked to hubby. He told me that the bloody nose didn't stop at 6am this morning. It had been going on throughout the morning. So on top of having a bad cough, looking like someone kicked him upside his head and having two bright red circles on his cheeks from his temperature, he can't keep his nose from bleeding. I feel so bad for him!

Happy Friday!

Happy Friday all!

Yesterday was rotten. My child was out of control and my coming home last night involved the police and a lot of emotional distress but today is a new day.

Today I'm focusing on all of the positive things that my day has to offer:

• No stopped up ear
• Less choking and hacking
• A sore body from last night's workout which means I pushed my limit
• A great staff meeting this afternoon
• Free lunch provided by the company which I got to order for the meeting
• Enough gas in my car to get me home
• Not having to drop my kid off at daycare because he was so naughty yesterday that daddy had him stay home with him to do chores
• Knowing that there is a present for me when I get home that comes in a little blue can

I had all of my stress packed into an 8 hour period of time yesterday. I looked at today as an opportunity to forget about yesterday and move on

Little Jonny

Can you find the deviant in this picture?

I saw this picture and it immediately reminded me of my own son. Not many mothers will admit that their child is evil my my 4 year old is. When you find the kid in this picture who isn't right, then you've found my son's evil twin.

Earlier this week I got a call from my daycare provider. In the background I could hear my sweet boy screaming just to be screaming. When she asked if he wanted to talk to me he put his hands over his ears and started screaming louder. Later on I found out that he had thrown chairs at his teacher, broke crayons and threw those at her as well and then decided it was a good idea to throw scissors at her as well.

God I'm so glad I got my tubes tied. . . .

Unhealthy

I have had bronchitis for the past two weeks and the week prior to that I had a sinus infection which is what led to the bronchitis. I've had antibiotics, Vick's rubbed on my chest and even had Vick's rubbed on me feet before I went to bed. I'll try anything at this point.

I woke up early this morning to get to work early because I had a ton of things to do before 10a today. I got out of the shower and cleaned my ears with Q-Tips. One ear felt extremely awesome when I cleaned it. . . more so than usual. . . so good that I wanted to stand there all morning and just clean that ear. Well now I know why. Now I can't even hear out of that ear. I feel like I'm inside of a tin can or in the pool and people are trying to talk to me. I told my boss that I couldn't hear out of that ear right when he walked in this morning. He tried addressing me a few times and I couldn't hear him. I told him to throw things at me if he needed me. . . it was that bad.

So I told a co-worker about my bum ear. He tells me to take some olive oil and garlic and heat it up in the microwave and then dip a cotton ball into the mixture and shove it into my ear and that will make my ear all better. What the hell is it with these home remedies? Do I look like I live in a village and the village witch doctor is on vacation? No. Hubby and I were talking about this last night when a WebMD commercial came on. I told him that sure it's a great site but why would you waste your time going to a site, diagnosing yourself just to find out that you really do need meds, have to actually go to the doctor to have him tell you the same thing just so that you can get a prescription to make yourself feel better. I would rather just go to the doctor in the first place. I'm sure there is nothing more annoying to a doctor than a patient that goes to the WebMD site first and then strolls into his office to tell him how to do his job because they already went to the site. I would hate to be a doctor if that's the case.

An Idle Mind. . . .

Ever heard the term "An idle mind is the devil's playground?" I grew up on that term and it's true. Have you ever seen a person with too much time on their hands or not enough to do?

I have had the same routine for the longest time:

• Get up at 6a
• Get kid up and lay his clothes out so he can get dressed
• Get a shower and get ready for work
• Pack up the kid at 7:30a
• Drop kid at daycare
• Go to work
• Do work
• Leave work at 4:30p
• Pick up kid at daycare
• Go home and maybe cook some dinner maybe not
• Spend rest of evening in bedroom relaxing and drinking a beer
• Pass out at 10:30p

That is the most mundane schedule I have ever seen. Anything exciting in there? I don't see it. I have literally forced my schedule to be chuck full of stuff for ME. I now (in addition to the exciting schedule that you see above) take a cardio class for an hour on Mon and Wed. I also take a weight training class for an hour right after work on Tues and Thursdays and also take a water aerobics class on Saturday morning for an hour. The earliest that I get home is on Friday at 5p. The rest of the nights, the latest that I get home is at 9p.

I started doing the whole self help thing because I was depressed about my physique. I'm going to be 40 in a few years and I don't have the body I once did. I need to start taking care of myself. At first I wanted to just loose weight. Now I don't care. I'm toning up so much that I'm loosing inches more than loosing weight which is way more important. I make sure that I consume the right amount of calories according to what I think I might burn that evening. It helps and I've had quite a few people ask if I've lost weight when in reality I really haven't which means it's working!

I also noticed that with a full schedule, I don't have time to fight with hubby, I want to cook and have a plan ahead of time of what I'm going to fix. When I do get home at night, I do dishes, a load of laundry and do a little picking up around the house. With hubby being home most of the time, he does the majority of the cleaning so I just have a little to do when I get home and when I leave in the morning, the house is spotless and we have clothes to wear. I don't have time to come up with excuses why something didn't get done or why the house is a disaster. Hubby supports my new schedule and it makes me feel good that I'm doing it.

It's been a long time since I've done something solely for me and on such a consistent basis.

Ungrateful People

Okay. . . . had to share this one. . . .

I went to the mall this weekend with my 16 year old. We went to a mall in an upscale neighborhood that I grew up in and have despised it for years because of the people that mill about and live there. Most of the people that are there are rude, self centered and egotistical. They have been for years which is why I moved south at an early age. I thought that it might get better but it has not. We went shopping there because my parents live in the neighborhood and I came by for a visit.

We shopped for a brief moment at the mall, I was stepped on by a group of prosti-tots and aggravated and then we decided to leave. I had parked a far distance from the mall because of how crowded it was and didn't mind. It was a pretty day on Saturday. At the beginning of the lane that I parked in I noticed an SUV towards the end of the lane waiting for someone to pull out so that they could have their parking spot. I noticed at the front of the lane that there was a parking spot that was available and motioned to the car that there was a spot to park. My daughter told me after I flailed my arm about that this was a spot reserved for expecting women. Oooops! My bad.

We got to the end of the lane where the car was still waiting and the woman in the car rolled her window down and informed me that she could not park there as it is reserved for expectant mothers as if I had done it on purpose. Wouldn't a simple "thank you" have sufficed? Is it so hard to just be polite and recognize that someone was trying to help you, you ungrateful bitch?

I get to my car and pull out just as this woman is getting out of her car. . . .yep. . . she needed to park far away. Seems as though she needed to burn a few thousand calories or better yet, she could have parked in the spot that I pointed out and I don't think that anyone would have questioned her. . . .ungrateful witch. I hope you don't find one sale and have to pay double for what you came for!

Unconditional Acts of Kindness

I had to bring up this subject as it really made me think about my past yesterday. Yesterday my MIL called me yesterday and asked that I drive her to the surgery center for an out-patient procedure. My FIL had tore his rotator cuff the previous day and was not healthy enough to do the job. I drove her there, stayed, drove her home, picked up her scripts, took hubby to her office to pick up her vehicle and called at 4:30p to make sure that she had eaten and taken her meds. I also told both of them to call me to help with the laundry and to help around the house. I did all of this because they needed help. Nothing more. No "I hope I get something in return if I do this for them". Just the simple fact that they needed someone to help them and I knew that if I were in that situation that I would want someone to help me too. . . unconditionally.

In my family however, if my mother does something for you, she expects something in return. For example, if she takes my 89 year old grandmother to the doctor she expects my grandma to take her to lunch after the appointment. It bothers my grandmother as it rightfully should. The only reason why I know that it bothers her is because she has told me. Thankfully, my dad is not the same.

It's hard being raised in a family where you are taught that if you would like to have something done for you, you better be expected to pay up. This is a "program" that I have had the great displeasure of trying to kick. I don't want people to know that I would be like that. I have tried my whole life to not be that way. The only place where I am like that is at work only because I am being paid to do a job. However, even at work, with the coworkers that I have that I am close to, I still try to do things in a charitable manner.

Why is my mother like that and so many other people in society? I don't know. Don't really care either. I do know that it is an ugly, self righteous trait that I would not be proud to posses.

Final Fantasy?

Hubby has been playing Final Fantasy XI for years now. It's an interactive, online video game where he gets to be a character, cast spells, talk to others, kill enemies, cook, trade, buy. . . you name it. Every year at the same time, he is unemployed due to his job which is seasonal. For those of you that don't live in Missouri, we have pretty crappy winters. Every winter we struggle with bills, he plays his game, I go in the bedroom and watch tv and do housework.

This year I decided to start taking workout classes at the Y so that I would feel better about myself. I've already taken one session and loved it. This session I'm taking 3 classes which is a total of 5 days of class. My classes are geared around my schedule so that hubby won't have to pick up the boy or stop what he's doing. It works well. . . . at least thus far.

I came home last night after a 5p class and picked up my little one. He will be starting kindergarten next year and needs to know his phone number, address and how to tie his shoes to get in. He mastered the phone this past weekend and we were working on the address in the car on the way home. We get to the house and I tell hubby that he and I were working on his address and that he was getting pretty good at it when hubby tells me without looking at me that he has been working on a maze for 2 hours and is frustrated. What the fuck does that have to do with your kid learning his address?????????????????????

Next case in point - over the weekend I had rented room 1408 to watch with hubby. We didn't get to watch it until 10p because of his game and then got pissed at me when I fell asleep in the middle of it.

Other case in point - sex. Need I say more? Because folks, the only time you'll see sex in our relationship is as a word on this page. I refuse to be woke up at midnight for a bootie call because you were too involved in your game.

My girlfriend had a problem with her husband playing a video game all the time. She finally had to give him times that he was allowed to play. I have thought of times that I wanted to take the hard drive and smash it or accidentally scratch it or screw up some of the drive space and replace it so that it looked like an accident. I'm tired of spending the whole winter season in my bedroom like a kid who is being punished. I'm tired of watching my cushions in my sofa get broken down from his big ass not moving for 15 hours straight (yeah and let's not forget that he tries to get laid after basting in his juices for 15 hours. . . .yeah that's real attractive!)

"Final Fantasy". . . .doesn't that mean that there is an end in sight somewhere in the near future? This game is misleading. Why don't they call it "The Crack Game" or "Out of Touch with Reality"? That would be more realistic. I would even buy "15 Hours of Misery". I know he wouldn't buy that game but if it were the hottest game of the season and he had it on his wish list for Christmas, I would heed the warning in the title alone. This Final Fantasy title is a farce and it's fucking up my home life.

Issy's New Year's Eve

Hubby and I decided to go out for New Year's this year. Every year for the past 8 years we have had massive bonfire and everyone has gotten stinking drunk including us. I usually fall down at least 3 times and have unexplained bruises from my drunken frolic in the lower field in the dark. One year I was climbing on top of a brush pile when my foot got stuck in between some branches and my leg wouldn't move. I fell backwards with my foot still stuck and landed on my back on a roll of barbed wire. I woke up the next morning with a huge bruise on my back and just couldn't figure out how that got there! With years of all of that hoosier excitement, how could I even dream of doing something sane?

Well I did. Hubby and I made reservations at a hotel that was 5 miles from the casino that we go to about once a year. They had a package deal for New Year's and the price was decent so we made our plans. Hotel was nice (Doubletree) and our room was VERY small. . . smelled funky too. We had a smoking room because hubby smokes and it smelled like a hooker had a relay race going on. It smelled like ass and smoke. . . what a sick combination.

We went down to the "lounge" and had a few drinks and appetizers before getting ready to go to the casino. We went back to the room where both of us got dressed and ready to go. I wore a black lace, sleeveless dress that came a few inches above my knee and was somewhat low cut in the bust area. The lace had a flesh colored underlay underneath it and when matched with the heels that I was wearing, I must say that I looked like a million bucks! Off to the casino we went. . . .

Upon our arrival at the casino, both of us needed new cards. We went through the process and headed to the casino itself through the turn style where they check your casino card with your drivers licence. I had a nice woman who was checking me through until flaming homosexual security man got mixed up in the works. As she is checking me, this fruitcake came over and dialog is as follows:

"You can't let her in"
Me - "Why not"
"They won't let her at the tables dressed like that"
Nice Lady - "What's wrong with how she's dressed?"
"Just trust me, they won't let her at the tables but if you want to try then by all means, try"
Me - "I don't understand what's wrong with how I'm dressed"
"It's the slip"
Me - "What slip? I don't have one of those on! I have on a bra and underwear if you want to see that"
"Ma'am, would you like to leave or just go into the casino?"
Me - "You just told me that I couldn't go in because of the way I'm dressed!"
"Well do whatever you want but don't say I didn't warn you"

Hubby had already gone through before me and said that when he turned around and saw this clown questioning me that my face was in such a rage that he had to exit and go back through to see what was wrong. He asked the security homo what the problem was and said that the man would not look him in the eye at all. Hubby said that it's been a long time since he's seen me that angry in a long time. And it didn't help that I had had a shot of Crown before we hit the casino. Fag boy better be damn glad that the Crown wasn't talking! My mom would have put her 6" stiletto right up his ball sack if he had talked to her like that but I think I was too stunned to react in a dignified manner.

We gambled at the bar, laughed, drank and had a great time. I had 4 women throughout the course of the night tell me what a pretty dress I had on and how cute I looked in at. And guys, ladies are the worst and harshest critics. If you look like a whore in a dress, you will know it from a female before you know it from a male. When we were done at the casino, we went looking for our shuttle to take us back to the hotel. Nowhere to be found which would have been next to impossible with all of the bedlam that was taking place in front of the casino. I have never seen so many people, cars and lights. It was ridiculous! Finally a cabbie picked us up and off we went.

We were driving with this grotesque man as our driver in the dark through a park when he decides to cut the cheese in the cab. Then he blames it on someone hitting a deer. Are you for fucking real dude? You just crapped yourself and can't come up with anything better than "Oh someone musta hit a deer". What a freak.

We got back to the hotel and all was well. We went to our room, turned on the tv, called some friends to wish them a happy new year and rang in the new year together just the two of us. It was a comical start to a hopefully lighthearted 2008.

Home Remedies

I have been sick for the past 2 weeks. I had all kinds of green crap spewing from my head and just before I called my doctor in a panic, it crept ugly little head down into my chest. Ugh! Luckily for me, where I live, the grocery stores are participating in free antibiotics so I called my doctor and asked if he would call one in for me.

Now you would think that a doctor would want to see a person who has a foreign being living in their lungs but not my doctor. He is very special and can treat a person from 32 miles away. . . whatever. I wish I could make 6 figures a year for that talent. God I would cure polio for that matter. . . oh wait. . . that's already been done.

So yesterday I'm on the phone with my accounting co-worker who deals with taxes. I was in need of a current copy of the tax rates across the country in order to do my job. While I was on the phone I went into this crazy fit of hacking and choking. What could it be? Oh that's right. It's that thing in my lungs that my doctor hasn't checked out yet. So my coworker asks if I have tried rubbing Vicks on my feet at night and wearing socks over it. Old Wives tale. At that point I was willing to try anything. I had to work out last night and then I would try the advise.

I went home, changed and put a mentholated patch on my chest so that I would choke minimally. I hadn't worked out since Christmas as I have felt like ass all this time. I figured that if I started working out and working through this stupid sinus infection that I could kick all of this nasty disease. My class was an hour long and you can't stop moving or else the little 60 year old may with the Brittany Spears head set on will signal you out.

Working out with one of those patches on is interesting to say the least. You have a constant supply of oxygen going through your nose at all times yet your throat is dry almost the whole time, forcing one to drink an ungodly amount of water.

I finished my class and signed up for another class. . . Tuesdays and Thursdays. Now I'll be in class from Monday to Thursday with three days to recover. I went home, heated up some ravioli from the other night, grabbed a beer (yes that is how I reward myself after a good workout) and parked my ass in my bedroom watching another depressing episode of Law and Order. After dinner, I whipped out the Vicks and started rubbing my feet. I looked around to see if anyone was watching. God did I feel stupid! "This shit better work or I'm going to slap the stupid off your face" was what I was thinking at the time about my coworker.

I went to bed and hubby followed about an hour later. He tried to get all snuggly when he felt my socks and told me that it wouldn't work and flipped over and went back to bed. I woke up this morning and thought that it had until I found myself over the sink in the kitchen literally hacking up a lung. I thought I was going to die. Who would be this cruel to me? And again, I was looking around to see if anyone was watching my demise.

Moral of the story is, don't believe everything you hear. If anyone else has some sort of funny wives tale that can cure an ailment, please share. I'd love to hear them!