I started a new diet. So far so good. I've lost 2 pounds! Woo hoo! I have to monitor my diet, exercise, motivate myself. . . . . MOTIVATE MYSELF???????????? I'm sorry but I'm one of the most cynical people I know. Motivating myself is like asking a Native American to kill a buffalo just for the hell of it and walk away. Not happening. What's the point? I need someone or something up in my face saying "Hey lard ass, quit puttin that shit in your mouth!" Or "I just got done with the plans on a sling to get your monsterous butt up out of bed! I think it can hold all of you if you just give it a chance."
Yeah. I've given up. I monitor my diet and there is even room in Issy's diet for beer. Custom made just for moi! Exercise however is a problem. It didn't used to be but now it is.
When I was young (way young) from the time I was about 6 years old, I danced at a studio. I danced for over 10 years, became a rebelious teen and quit. I weighed 110 pounds and was 5'5". I had my first kid when I was 19 and went from 110 to 172. I lost all of the weight that I put on 2 weeks after I had my daughter.
3.5 years ago, I had my son at the tender age of 32 or 31 (I can't remember) and went from 130 to 174 and am now down to 152 (that's with the 2 pounds lost mind you!). So, for 3.5 years, I have been on the dieting roller coster and to be honest with you, I have become nautious. All I am wanting to get down to is 130. That's it. Even getting into the mid to low 40's would be a start.
Hubby met me when I was working for a grocery store as the asst. mgr. of the dairy department. My title was "Dairy Bitch". No joke. But at the time, I was working 2 jobs, going through a divorce, drinking heavily and smoking a lot of cigarettes. I was solid muscle and built which is why hubby supposedly gravitated to me. He told one of my co-workers "I'm gonna tag that ass in 2 weeks, bet me!" Well I wish I could say that it was 2 weeks but it wasn't. Either way, things have gone down hill with Issy's physice' ever since I "settled down". Now that I'm comfortable and have a 3 year old, I just don't have the time, room or energy to pick my legs up. It makes me wonder where I got all of that energy before? Where in the hell did it go? When I was dancing I worked out 6 days a week at 4.5 hours a day. Why can't I work out for 15 minutes a day 3 times a week? WTF?
Being pleasantly plump is not as attractive as it sounds. What I need is a workout buddy and dieting buddy; physically. Anyone would do. You don't even have to be that nice! That would be asking a hell of a lot anyway considering the type of person I am! So if anyone has any tidbits of useful "motivation" to throw my way, I am open.
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