A Message. . .

Dear Mom,

How are you? I know you are better than me cuz I know you are in a better place. The babies are fine. The oldest one has a major attitude and I just can't figure out who she got that one from. The littlest one is doing great! I brought the blankie home with me when I came back from last year from your place. You know, the one with the cowboys on it that's really soft? He loves it! Your oldest one is going to be 16 this year and she and I are going to a really nice hotel for her birthday and then spend a day at the spa together. I wish you were here to do that with us. . .

Work sucks but it is coming together. The guys I work with are actually TRYING to get their shit together.

M and I are doing okay. We've had our ups and downs but I asked him to spend the evening with me tonight because of you. M's brother should be up there with you so tell him we said hi and also M's grandpa should be there too so let him know that we are painting the house this weekend. . . it needs it!

I miss you so much. Just when I found you, God took you from me but left me with memories that I will always cherish. My biggest fear is that I will forget you. M told me that wouldn't happen; that he would remind me when I get old and help me remember the first time that I saw you. He told me the other night that the first time we met was an experience that he will never forget and can't describe. He said that it was one of the most awesome feelings he's ever experienced. There was a boy that was missing here for 4 years. The news covered his reuniting with his family. I cried. . . not because I was happy for them but because I knew exactly what they felt. Thinking that a part of you is gone and all of a sudden has been found. Knowing that the piece you are looking for will be familiar but the excitement of knowing how it will look different. That's how I remember you. I remember you as being a part of me. . . the person that made me.

You didn't see my first date or witness my first steps as a baby but you saw me for the first time as a successful young woman with children and a family. I have a good career and strong life skills that I believe I inherited. I left you with hopefully pride.

Tonight we're having a shot of Crown. Hope you can make it. . . .I love you!

Your loving daughter,

Alissa