Holiday Weekend

I had a good holiday weekend with my family. Lots of drinking and eating. . . . up until yesterday.

I got paid yesterday and had a lot of catching up to do on various things such as gas, washing the car, getting laundry detergent, etc. So I ran out to get a BUNCH of stuff done. I was gone for about 4 hours and when I got back, Hubby was texting AGAIN. Hadn't heard from him while I was gone. Guess I'm not that interesting.

So yeah, when I got back I copped an attitude because most of the evening we didn't really have any type of conversation. If I wanted a conversation then I texted him which at one point I asked him that if I asked him if he would go to Vegas with me would he go. He texted yes and then said to me "you don't want to marry me". I was so frustrated and aggravated that I just went outside to smoke. Most of his conversing with with S in the form of a text. It's so annoying when you want to spend time with someone and you are constantly getting interrupted by someone else.

Plus on top of it, I texted her this weekend to see how the concert that she went to was going. She said she didn't know me, called me to reinforce that she didn't know me and then Hubby got pissed at me for doing it. What the fuck? Then he tells me never to do it again. Fine I'm now 3 years old. . . put me in the damn corner. I did it to try to ease the tension that I had towards her and I thought it would help. Apparently it did not.

So last night everything came to a head and I called her a bunch of names. Hubby was very upset with me. Well I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I'm not enough for him, I'm sorry that it's hard for him to understand that we can't work on us with a fucking three ring circus going on and I'm sorry that if I have to share my life with him that I'm not willing to share it with her too. I guess I'm just not being flexible enough.

All I want is to be left alone. . . .Hubby told me that if I want to die alone, bitter and old that was my choice. I want to be left alone with my family but I don't think Hubby knows how to let go. Oh well. He can be alone too. Can you tell I'm not making any sense? I didn't get any sleep last night. . . here we go again.