All downhill from here

I saw a psychologist last night. . . a woman who is in her 60's. I found her on my own and was the second choice from my initial first. My gut said no on the first so don't ask.

I really like this woman. She asked a bunch of questions and we talked and she gave much needed advise. I told her about the medication that I was on and one of her strengths is dealing with people who have various medical conditions such as myself and with medications. She and I talked about the importance of watching what medications are put into an ecliptic's body. She also told me something that put my mind at ease more than most doctors have in a long time:

Epileptics tend to get angrier easier, cry easier and get happy easier - it's a known study.

I have not taken my Zoloft today and feel fine. I do not feel like a crazy person and feel as though I can think on my own. I don't have all kinds of weird thoughts going through my head and am focusing on my kids right now. Each day I have to find out how I can interact more with my son because right now I am severely limited on when and how long if at all the time that I can spend with him because of everything that has happened.

Hubby has made it very clear that our relationship is strictly parental based. That is still very hard for me to deal with but it's something that I have to accept. What is really hard to accept is when we do talk about our son in the small conversations that we have, he is very cold and short on the phone. I don't even have conversations with strangers like that on the phone but then again I didn't do what I did to him to a stranger. One by one my friend support system has vanished so maybe it's a good thing that some of this has come about.

Each day can only get better than the first now that it's behind me and I need to focus on myself and my kids.